on waking up (not hungover) to a new year

In grad school I took a class on addictions.  The professor, Matt Howard (very cute and easy to pay attention to) taught us that the severity of the hangover you tend to get is a form of behavioral conditioning,a la B.F. Skinner.  The worse your hangover the better predictor that the behavior of getting drunk will desist.  I am a good example of this.  I get hangovers, which to me seem terrible, and as a result, I am not a tee-totaler by any means, but I have good reason to think before I have 'just one more.' 
It's difficult to advocate for less alcohol consumption without sounding like a smug pain in the ass.  But that's what I'm about to do.  I guess the bit in the paragraph above is just to say that I realize it's relatively easy for me to not get drunk, and I know that it's very hard for some other people.

Here are a couple things I like about not getting drunk.  I think when I used to get drunk with relative frequency, like in my 20s or in college, I would set out to get drunk.  I'd think, I've worked hard/studied hard/ or whatever, and I deserve to cut loose.  I think this was also a way to connect with other people.  At the beginning of drinking most people probably do feel connected with other people.  But at some point (I think I am not the only one to feel this way) I felt disconnected from other people.  Or just the fact of being 'out of it' really disconnected me.  I was technically present with other people but I either felt some kind of sadness inside or else I didn't feel anything.

As we head into New Year's Eve, I'd like to advocate for not numbing out and for trying to loosen up on our expectations for what 'New Year's Eve' is supposed to be.  Maybe we'll feel connected to the people we are with.  Maybe we won't.  Maybe we'll be by ourselves.  Maybe we'll be with other people.  If we're relatively sober, we're more likely to make decisions that won't endanger us or someone else.  Even if we're lonely for one night, really, it'll all be okay.

In this way, I've pretty much had to get comfortable with doing my own thing.  Sometimes I feel like a boring nerd because I say no to one more drink or I go home early from parties.  Also, I really feel okay about it.  It's taken practice.  It's taken remembering how my hangovers feel.  It's also taken thinking about how it feels to wake up feeling good, healthy, and clear on the first day of a new year.

Happy New Year  - Be safe and good to you.