Hi everyone - as you may have noticed, I'm taking a few weeks off. Little time to write right now, but I'll be back in May.
Thanks for hanging in there with me. Happy Easter!
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Thursday, April 7, 2011
finding a therapist, doctor, etc. - the je nais sais quoi factor
I recently heard a story on NPR about the admissions process for elite colleges like Amherst. I have to admit that the process of sitting around a table and picking apart the resumes of stellar students sounded excruciating and, in the end the folks on the admissions panel seemed to indicate that it all comes down to the "je nais sais quoi" factor. Not to dumb down the blog, but I am the same woman who thought "Voila!" was pronounce "Viola" until age 30. So, for anyone who might not know, "je nais sais quoi" is roughly translated to: "I don't know". The implication being that there is some intangible quality to the person - in the case of getting in to Amherst, a positive, intangible quality.
There have been a couple other instances that have come up in my life recently, which have made me think about the influence of the je nais sais quoi factor. I just had the privilege of being with someone I care about during an important doctor's appointment. In many research hospitals, resident doctors often precede the 'real' doctor in consulting with the patient, and this was the case that I witnessed. The resident and the presiding doctor had very different bedside manners. One was high energy, fast-talking, and used some humor. The other was quiet, slow-speaking and rather introspective. The person I was with and I walked away with totally different impressions on which doctor we preferred. For each of us, there was the je nais sais quoi factor, but what informed that was as unique as we are from one another.
I've also been asked recently to assist several folks with connecting with therapists (other than myself). People ask me - what should I look for? how will I know if it's a good therapist? Yikes!!! So, for whatever it's worth, I'll mention a couple ideas and resources: in this information age, it's pretty easy to find out some preliminary information about therapists in your area. I belong to an organization called Psychotherapy St. Louis (http://www.psychotherapystlouis.com/) You can search that website for many different characteristics of a therapist, gender, location, office hours, specialties. You can see the therapists' picture even, or link to their own website if they have one. There's also http://www.find-a-therapist.com/ Again, you can search for area of town, degree held, etc. There are many more resources like these. So, that covers the tangible qualities. If you have been to a therapist, or been on a search for the 'right' therapist, you will also know that it also comes down to the je nais sais quoi factor.
When my folks got divorced when I was in my early 20s, I found it helpful to go to a therapist myself. I actually went to two therapists. Both very nice ladies. The second one was a better fit for me. If I had to define it, I would say that she used more humor and that she was a little more challenging of me. Even 15 years later, I'd say there was also an intangible quality to what made my second therapist feel more helpful and I realize that (just like the doctor's appt I mentioned earlier) a different person might not have found my therapist nearly as supportive and helpful as I did.
So, whether you're looking for a therapist, a doctor or whatever - I think it's okay to think like a consumer. You're paying for it - whether with money or time and it's human nature to be more invested in the process of working on physical and mental health, when you have a feeling of trust and acceptance - a general liking of the person you are looking to to provide some direction.
There have been a couple other instances that have come up in my life recently, which have made me think about the influence of the je nais sais quoi factor. I just had the privilege of being with someone I care about during an important doctor's appointment. In many research hospitals, resident doctors often precede the 'real' doctor in consulting with the patient, and this was the case that I witnessed. The resident and the presiding doctor had very different bedside manners. One was high energy, fast-talking, and used some humor. The other was quiet, slow-speaking and rather introspective. The person I was with and I walked away with totally different impressions on which doctor we preferred. For each of us, there was the je nais sais quoi factor, but what informed that was as unique as we are from one another.
I've also been asked recently to assist several folks with connecting with therapists (other than myself). People ask me - what should I look for? how will I know if it's a good therapist? Yikes!!! So, for whatever it's worth, I'll mention a couple ideas and resources: in this information age, it's pretty easy to find out some preliminary information about therapists in your area. I belong to an organization called Psychotherapy St. Louis (http://www.psychotherapystlouis.com/) You can search that website for many different characteristics of a therapist, gender, location, office hours, specialties. You can see the therapists' picture even, or link to their own website if they have one. There's also http://www.find-a-therapist.com/ Again, you can search for area of town, degree held, etc. There are many more resources like these. So, that covers the tangible qualities. If you have been to a therapist, or been on a search for the 'right' therapist, you will also know that it also comes down to the je nais sais quoi factor.
When my folks got divorced when I was in my early 20s, I found it helpful to go to a therapist myself. I actually went to two therapists. Both very nice ladies. The second one was a better fit for me. If I had to define it, I would say that she used more humor and that she was a little more challenging of me. Even 15 years later, I'd say there was also an intangible quality to what made my second therapist feel more helpful and I realize that (just like the doctor's appt I mentioned earlier) a different person might not have found my therapist nearly as supportive and helpful as I did.
So, whether you're looking for a therapist, a doctor or whatever - I think it's okay to think like a consumer. You're paying for it - whether with money or time and it's human nature to be more invested in the process of working on physical and mental health, when you have a feeling of trust and acceptance - a general liking of the person you are looking to to provide some direction.
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