One of my friends came home from being out this weekend to see that the Cubs flag he hangs in front of his St. Louis house had been burned. As a lifelong St. Louisan, it's embarrassing. But, I know it's not uniquely embarrassing behavior on the part of fans from my hometown. I can also can tell you the story of a petite little lady I know who went to Chicago for a Cardinals/Cubs game and made the mistake of wearing her Cardinals ballcap on the El. I kid you not when I tell you that she got cold-cocked in the face by a drunk Cubs fan.
I don't get it. I suck at being a fan. It makes me feel sheepishly un-American, but I literally don't understand how people feel these deep personal attachments and therefore a sense of identity linked to these attachments. I enjoy watching athleticism, but I don't feel affiliated with a 'side.' I can enjoy watching a Chinese diver just as much as an American diver. I have no sense that I am more important or cooler or more talented because someone from 'my side' wins.
Yet, working in hospice, I truly appreciated how being a Cardinals fan and watching the games brought some life and enjoyment to people who were very sick. The history of the team gave a lot of elderly people a feeling that was almost like family. It was very sweet. But, I didn't get it in a way that felt personal for me. I didn't feel it in my heart.
That may just be the way I'm wired, and I've probably lost a lot of readers here, because they're like 'well, I don't get YOU.'
But, here's where I get stuck. The flag burning and cold-cocking. Most team sports are fun to watch, but sometimes 'fanaticism' reduces 'the other person' into 'the other.' And as humans, we tend to be afraid of and angry at 'the other' - whether that is the Cubs fan, the Democrat, the Republican, the Russian, the Chinese, the gay, the atheist, the Muslim.
If I am a fan of anything, it may be that I am a fan of 'thinking for yourself.' Let's all wonder about our own beliefs - do we have traditions, fears, or blindspots that shape our choices of how we treat or avoid other people? Do we want to hold onto those or let them go?
Thinking for yourself is an individual sport. As a runner, I highly recommend it. We really don't need blind affiliations to any group to have a sense of identity and purpose. When I run, I need very little. I have my shoes, the quiet of the street at dawn, the moon fading and the sun rising, and my own thoughts, which often lead me to more questions than answers.
