ode to becoming: yes, virginia, that is all there is

On Thursday, I received my weekly email update/letter from my church minister.   In the hopes of encouraging congregants to attend a service on Christmas Day, he wrote,

I confess that I sometimes have a feeling of emptiness and incompletion on Christmas Day. The presents are opened, and now what? Do I turn to football or a nostalgic movie? This is Christmas Day, yet the magic of the season seems already gone. How I wish for a brief time of real meaning, contemplation, for the spirit of the season in company with those who will be glad to see me.

Now, I think it's interesting to compare that sentiment to some lyrics from Peggy Lee's song, Is That All There Is:

And when I was 12 years old, my father took me to the circus, the greatest show on earth.
There were clowns and elephants and dancing bears
And a beautiful lady in pink tights flew high above our heads.
And as I sat there watching the marvelous spectacle
I had the feeling that something was missing.
I don't know what, but when it was over,
I said to myself, "Is that all there is to a circus?"

Is that all there is, is that all there is
If that's all there is my friends, then let's keep dancing
Let's break out the booze and have a ball

Actually, all the lyrics are pretty interesting.  http://www.lyricstime.com/peggy-lee-is-that-all-there-is-lyrics.html

The thing is, I think a lot of people, whether they are traditionally religious or not, have this feeling (not necessarily about breaking out the booze and having a ball). There's a lot of build up for something to happen - maybe Christmas, maybe a vacation, maybe a new job, maybe just a night out with friends. There's preparation, planning, hoping for and anticipating the best...and then when it happens, it's kind of like one of those "dud" fireworks on the Fourth of July. 

It's notable to me that probably a half dozen to a dozen of my patients when I worked in hospice talked about the song, Is That All There Is? as they faced their own deaths.  We feel that let down about individual events in life, but as Peggy Lee points out at the end of her song, we don't want it to end either.

One idea, a way of approaching the Moments of life (with a capital M) links, for me, with a theology that I learned about from another minister; it's called Process Theology.  Here's the gross oversimplification (so please forgive me if you know more about this than I do):  the idea is that God is Becoming, that God is a process.  If you don't believe in God, I think it still works...we hear it all the time, even at the Hallmark store:  the journey is the destination.

I'll give this Christmas season as an example - like many of us, I've had a ridiculously long 'to do' list.  Ever since Thanksgiving, there's been this momentum.  Also, irritations - for example, I yelled at my son this afternoon for hitting his sister with a kebab skewer.

But, I'd like to propose that the momentum, the build up, is just as much Christmas as what I'll celebrate with my family on December 24/25.  I am not building up for some moment to happen, the moment is happening.  So rather than feel harried and resent my obligations and think, "I can't wait for Christmas to get here, then I'll know this effort is all worth it," it's much more content and enjoyable for me to soak in what I'm actually doing at the moment as part of what I hope for when I think of what I love about a holiday:  traditions, family time, good food and music, appreciating one another, feeling connecting to and honoring something bigger than ourselves. 

We can even draw this out to our sense of self.  If we think, one day I'll be the person I want to be, we're missing out.  We are becoming who we are and/or who we want to be!  It's happening right now.  It's not always comfortable, but I think that is so cool.

I am trying to keep in mind that every moment is "all there is.".  I've enjoyed myself this month, including all the running around.  But maybe I better go just now, I think I heard the kitchen drawer open.  The one where we keep the kebab skewers.

Happy Holidays and Love to Everybody!