Wednesday, August 16, 2017

How to Have An Enemy: May The Force Be With You and A Preppy Mom

I wish everyone could know my mom.  She has certain things she says and certain stories she tells and she always tells them in the same way.  She is very theatrical, 100% sincere, and believes wholly that our purpose on this earth is to love one another, help any one in need, and leave the world a better place.

From the time I was a kid and was aware of the political climate of the 1960s (and I was very aware of that political climate - we listened to Peter, Paul and Mary and the Kingston Trio, possibly daily) - I asked my mom if she had been a hippy.

"Well,"  she'd say,  "I never looked like a hippy on the outside.  I never dressed like a hippy.  But, I FELT like a hippy on the inside.  You know, you don't have to dress in a way that brings attention to yourself to believe those things.  I protest in my own way."

What she meant by this, is that overall, we lived in a pretty conservative community, and I would say that in the 1980s my mom dressed quite 'preppy'.  But anyone who knows my mom, knows she is not politically conservative.  She speaks up and believes she can work for change from the 'inside' the establishment.   In the late 1980s, there was even a rumor about her that she wanted to distribute condoms at the high school.  Scandalous!

It seems to me we are in the midst of a sea change in the world, perhaps not unlike how things might have felt in the 1960s.  We have North Korea.  Our president speaks, writes, hires and fires without thorough information or long term understanding and deep respect for consequences .  We have neo-Nazi's openly hating.  We have an opiod/heroin epidemic and our friends and neighbors are dying.   We have violence in the streets and distrust of our police force.  We are so attached to our phones that a recent study showed that newborn babies are connecting to their mothers' foreheads instead of their eyes.

Sigh.

There are many people today who are afraid evil is winning in this world.  I've been alive for almost 45 years, and it certainly feels to me that, in the tenor of the air, there are powerful forces at work.  Speaking of the forces, here's the open to 1977's Star Wars:  http://www.starwars.com/video/star-wars-episode-iv-a-new-hope-opening-crawl Star Wars Opening Crawl

The movie begins...'It is a period of Civil War.'  After 40 years, I find myself appreciating the themes and characters that makes Star Wars timeless.  For instance, perhaps it's not a coincidence that Confederate monuments and what they mean are the source of renewed conflict.

In every facet of life - whether it's fighting cancer or fighting racism - under threat, human nature is to react...to fight and defend.

So many of us were taught that you fight, but not resolve conflict.  Why fight unless you intend to 'win?'  You fight to decimate.  You fight to humiliate.  You fight to, metaphorically, kill.  I even see it within groups of people that overall agree with one another.   We get on social media to vent or discuss a topic and it turns into nitpicking, backbiting and name-calling when someone is not liberal enough or liberal in the 'right ways.'  I am sure this happens on the conservative side too, but I just happen to generally run in more liberal circles.   A friend recently screenshot-ed a facebook post to me in which another person stated that if you are not publicly, on facebook, speaking out against the neo-Nazis in Charlottesville, this person says they have no use for your friendship.

I've been noticing we have some noisy warriors out there.  We have a lot of talkative and opinionated rebel fighters.

My daughter and a friend were talking from the backseat of my car about a third friend who they feared was talking behind peoples' backs and becoming manipulative.  "How can we stop this?" they wondered.  The little girl in my car suggested that they 'catch' the third girl talking behind someone's back so they could 'prove a point.'

I said, "Listen, girls - when you don't like someone's behavior.  When you begin to feel that you have an enemy, you always run the risk of becoming like them.  You complain about this person manipulating, but you're thinking about entrapping her to prove a point.  Now, who's manipulative?"

To take this to the extreme - whether it's politically or personally, at church or at work, if you believe you have an enemy, if you have a person you despise, in what ways are you becoming like them?

In this political climate - at least for liberals - I wonder if some are becoming judgmental and intolerant and even hateful at times  - the very qualities they criticize.  And they're doing this to people who are of good will even 'on their side.'  It's like every X-wing pilot thinks everyone in the resistance should be an X-wing pilot (that is so nerdy, that I even wrote that sentence.)

Princess Leia did not look like a rebel fighter.  Han Solo was not jedi.  R2D2 was not Chewbacca.  Everyone does not have to look, talk, and sound the same, to be working toward making the world a better place.

My mom will never, ever look like a hippy.  But she will always fight injustice in her own ways.

And, is she the one supplying your kids' high school with condoms?!  The truth is out there.