wisdom to know the difference

It's been a hard week to try to keep up with the blog. I think mostly because of the intensity of the coverage of the shootings in Tucson, the aftermath of that and the ongoing dialogue about what factors caused or allowed such a thing to happen. I've felt that there isn't a whole lot more to say, I guess.

The playing and replaying and covering and re-covering of the shootings in AZ seem to me a natural human response to grief, though. In my work, I notice this especially with traumatic grief - an event that carries with it the inital element of utter shock. This happens on the microlevel (one's personal experience - like when I hit and killed a deer this year, I thought repeatedly about the moments leading up to it, trying to make sense of the 'whats' and 'hows' in my mind) and it also happens on the macrolevel, as we witness now regarding this tragedy.

I think this is our way to try to regain some sense of control or try to feel that there is any control at all. I know I wrote a bit about prayer in the last posting -about Rabbi Kushner and When Bad Things Happen to Good People. Another prayer comes to my mind, which many people know as the Serenity Prayer - this is written originally by Reinhold Niebuhr and adopted by most 12-step programs, like Alcoholics Anonymous. I'll post it below - with just one more thought, first.

In my deepest heart, I think control is overrated and somewhat of an illusion. Yet, many of us dedicate our lives to it. Many people believe that writing itself is a way to assert control- to make order out of chaos. "In the beginning was the word..." So, we will continue to strive because we are human. But, let's also try to be humble and mindful that we are limited. To that end:

The Serenity Prayer
God, grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.