some thoughts on peace

When I was a hospice social worker, I probably worked with a half dozen to a dozen Muslim patients and families - mostly Bosnian or Iranian families. They all spoke English, or at least some members of the family spoke English, but of course, verbal communication was more challenging than with English-speaking families. What comes first to my mind as a means of communication and of bridging the cultural gap was that the families offered me food - tea, cookies, raisins, dates, fruit, bread. I also remember one young mother (my patient) and I sharing pictures of our kids. She looked at my red-haired son, who was just a toddler at the time, and kissed the picture. She showed me a photo album of her life as a teacher before the war in Bosnia. It was an tender moment to me. I think we felt the comfort and tension of all that we had in common as mothers and then also how our experiences diverged. She had been a war refugee and been subject to the worst of humanity. I am still amazed by her bravery and ability to survive and manage the survival of her family.
I just read a review of James Zogby's new book, Arab Voices: What They are Saying and Why it Matters, in the NYT Review of Books from Nov. 28 (review by Neil MacFarquhar.), www.nytimes.com/2010/11/28/books/review/MacFarquhar-t.html?_r=1&ref=bookreviews . Though the reviewer says it can make for dry reading, the overall article was positive and I'd like to get this book.
Though I haven't travelled extensively I have an increasing awareness that one of the next big challenges facing America and the world (if not the biggest) will be to build a better cultural understanding and empathy with the Muslim/Arabic world. The book seems to point this out on a number of fronts: did you know that there are as many college students studying Arabic as there are studying ancient Greek?
What does this have to do with mental health, contentment or well-being? For me - at the basic level, fear and anxiety, both real and imagined, both close at home or far away undermine mental health and well-being. There are truly fearful things in the world, but relationships, friendships and love between people make them less fearful. This can most easily be fostered through language, communication, listening and talking. But it is not the only way. When I visited patients from different cultural backgrounds for the first time, I was nervous. I didn't want to offend anyone, I wondered how I could help. I conveyed (I hope) curiosity, accepted hospitality, and made connections by sharing what we have in common.
I think both a personal and global sense of peace is possible, one relationship at a time. As 2010 draws to a close, peace is something we need as much now as ever. In the self-help Western world that we live in, I know we (and I) tend to focus on the inside, out - but I think there is also validity to working for peace and compassion from the outside, in.