In the past month or so, my son taught himself to play chess, which I thought was really cool since I've said for about 20 years, 'I should really learn how to play chess,' but I've never done it. So, he dug up a chess board from the basement, read some directions from the Dangerous Book for Boys and now we have a new pasttime in the family (I've since learned how to play, too). We found out about a great place in St. Louis, The St. Louis Chess Club, http://www.stlouischessclub.org/ and told him we'd take him. On the afternoon we were supposed to visit for the first time, he threw his dessert from lunch in the trash - unheard of! 'What's the matter?' I asked. 'I'm too anxious to eat it.' he said. 'Anxious?' I asked - his seven year old self using the word anxious made me anxious. 'Mom, there are three types of anxious - nervous, excited and worried. I'm excited.' Yeah, of course.
It's true what he said. I looked it up in the Oxford English Dictionary. As I observe it, the older we get, the less anxiety we have that feels 'excited.' We tend to lump it in with worried and nervous and it can grow to low level panic.
So, here are some thoughts about anxiety and coping: In my life and in my work I observe there are a couple ways people tend to cope with anxiety - 1) overfunction, 2) underfunction. I am a classic overfunctioner. Just at the moment I am feeling overwhelmed by things like raising small children, running my own business, taking care of a sick relative, and serving in some kind of church leadership role (you can tell this is just a made up scenario, right?!), that's when I decide is the best moment to finally put a poetry manuscript together. That's so sensible. I have admiration for people who are underfunctioners, though this gets them in trouble too (I hear) - when life places too many demands, they get caught up in a CSI marathon or realize that they really NEED 10 hours of sleep a night. Obviously, many people are some combination - overfunction in their home life, for example ('the entire house must be clean RIGHT NOW!!!) and underfunction in their work life, etc.
I've become a big advocate of trying something different or even the opposite of what you'd normally do. No matter how 'anxious' it makes you. If you are feeling anxious and have the urge to sign up for a new spinning class, maybe make a deal with yourself to hold off on that urge for a week. Try sitting down and reading a book. If you are overwhelmed and feel like you just need to come home and take a nap after work, call a friend to go on a walk instead. It will feel very weird at first to do or not do something different than usual, but I think it's worth it.
On a note not totally unrelated to anxiety, but also I more founded in reality and compassion, I want to acknowledge that many of us are thinking of the people of Japan and, whether we are consider ourselves religious/spiritual or not, we are holding them in our thoughts, hoping for the courage and wisdom of our leaders to help guide the efforts to alleviate suffering there.
Katy....I'm glad you mentioned the people of Japan. I have been watching the almost nonstop news coverage of the misery and suffering that they are induring. In our society people would be clamoring for government help. The Japanees seem to be accepting of their situation and are finding ways to cope with it. Manufacturing their own chopsticks, banding together in mutual support, sharing what they have and remaining calm through what must be almost insuferable hardship. We could learn something from their example. Self sufficiency, grace under pressure.
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