When I began to blog again after my year or so off, I began by thinking about this theme in my life of 'bouncing' - my mom used to compare me with Tigger, who often bounced himself into situations that he didn't like half so much as he thought he would. And my dad has always compared me to the Unsinkable Molly Brown, who survived the sinking of the Titanic among other things. I guess that's a reverse bounce, right?
And I thought about how I do feel really resilient. I have a deep sense that I am not only okay, I'm good. And if I'm not good, I know I'm going to get good soon.
Recently, I wrote about how to keep it simple and take care of yourself after really bad life events -one little moment at a time. For me, it's helped to get in practice of checking in with my body...how does it feel? Am I enjoying my food? Am I getting enough sleep? Do I need to stretch? Do I need to be warmer, cooler, more comfortable?
But after taking care of your body, the other big, big thing I learned about bouncing is that you must have friends, cultivate friendship, cherish your friends, and give them a wide berth (because let's face it - we're not always perfect friends ourselves).
In bad times, my friends have made me dinners, called or texted me every day over months of time, they've given me Xanax that wasn't prescribed to me (just once), they've listened to me cry, they've laughed at weird SNL clips I've sent them, they've taken me into their homes when it wasn't convenient. So in some way, this blog post is to say THANK YOU, FRIENDS. Also, that's a thanks for just the bad times - the good times are the best - giggling our heads off at live theater, when it's really not appropriate, marching in Fourth of July parades, sharing dinners and concerts, and a love of Andrew Lloyd Weber. I could go on!
But, for the wider audience, I want to notice a couple things - first, I hear complaints from a variety of folks - 'this friend wasn't there for me as much as I wanted her to be', 'this friend only thinks about himself', this friend said she would do this or that and she didn't.' It's true - sometimes we can choose crummy friends. But I think more often than not we can remember that different friends are great at different things. Some friends are great with words. Some friends are great to laugh with, but can't be serious too easily. Some friends will come to your defense. Some friends always want to make peace.
My mom has been part of the same 'book club' for over 30 years (I use the term very loosely because I don't think they've read a book in 24 years). These friends have helped each other through divorce, moving, and deaths. We all need a book club like this.
So there you have it - my second big lesson in 'bouncing' - make friends, keep friends, be a friend. Love your friends. I know I do. From the bottom of my heart.
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