everybody's under pressure - but how do you release it?

My clients are really, really good people.  In fact, I think I probably have nicer, kinder, more compassionate, and plain old good clients than any other therapist in St. Louis and maybe in the United States.  I say that only partially tongue in cheek.  I think there's a little bit of truth to it, and also a little bit of my own bias.  Of course I'm biased - I've gotten to  know them and when you get to know people, without judgment, you get to see how awesome and beautiful they are on the inside.  I think of my clients as both trying to enjoy or get more fulfillment out of their lives and/or find ways of coping with life's difficulties and grief.  But this isn't just my clients, this is the human condition - both longing for fulfillment and trying to triumph over challenges and times of sadness or pain

When we try very hard to do and be our best, whether as employees, as parents, as friends, as spouses, sometimes the pressure builds up and often we find release valves for all that pressure without stopping to think about it.  Maybe we yell at our spouse or kids, maybe we get drunk/high, maybe we are promiscuous, maybe we overexcercise, maybe we overeat.  Sometimes we find healthy ways to release pressure to - we go hiking, write a poem, watch a sad or really funny movie, spend an hour with our friend or sister on the phone. 

I think most of us, whether we're in therapy or not, would benefit from answering the questions - what are my release valves?  How do I try to let go of some of the pressures of life?  Are these the release valves I want to have?  Are they helping or hurting me?

When we can answer these questions fully and truthfully, we can be more aware and make sure the choices we are making are the ones we really want to make.  We can understand some of our actions, even our actions we don't like, in a more compassionate way.  And, we can appreciate our time hiking or painting or going to listen to our favorie band, in a deeper way. 

On a somewhat other note, I'd like to share a quote I received on email today from Pema Chodron, a Buddhist monk.  She's written many books and I subscribe to a weekly 'thought' exerpted from one of her publications (here's the link http://www.shambhala.com/heartadvice/?utm_medium=email&utm_source=HA%201/19/12  ): 

BEGIN WITH KINDNESS TO YOURSELF

We are all in this together. So when you realize that you’re talking to yourself, label it “thinking” and notice your tone of voice. Let it be compassionate and gentle and humorous. Then you’ll be changing old stuck patterns that are shared by the whole human race. Compassion for others begins with kindness to ourselves.

Have a good week, everybody!